Thursday, February 25, 2010
Well, I just needed a place where I could write my thoughts out, what better place then to write it out in my new blog huh?
I thought about it, I only write entries last time, because I want others to know how I feel.
Maybe not feel, how I think.
Here's a little thought. I've been doing some self-reflection and yeah, I noticed that I'm actually one of the worse type of friends you can have. I wish I could change myself, but I couldn't. Why not? I have no idea. Why am I one of the worst? I don't like to elaborate, but I guess everyone knows the answer.
What are friends?
In theory, friends are people who care for you, love you and etc.
But, how do you know that if its true?
Isn't the small things that friends do, make them stand out from just classmates or somebody whom you don't even know.
Humans are greedy by nature.
Having one friend who cares about you is never enough, you'll always want more.
Popularity and being famous, are things that everyone wish to obtain.
I often stare in envy, those who are very popular, and ask myself why, why am I not one of those.
I often thought it was because of these few reasons.I was quiet. I don't dare to approach others. I don't have a fun side. I'm a boring old man to everyone. I don't have feelings. I don't do what other people do. I'm not a fun guy. I am weird.
Well, I guess they are true to a certain extent, I mean, I agree to everything that I typed out, that's why I typed out right?
Anyways, the purpose of this post is like a reflection.
And I ask myself these questions.
How do you know if someone wants you out of their life, but is too nice to not say it, but actions show it? What will you do? Do you still consider that person as a friend?
Maybe slowly, but surely, I am beginning to understand how Nicholas feels somehow. It may seem that we, or mostly, I neglect his whining and complaints about his friends. But I think if I put myself into his shoes for a moment, I might understand why because I myself is also in this predicament.
It's very obvious, to me, to anyone, who they're happy with and who they're not.
They do little actions, sub-conciously, to different people around them.
These little actions, unfortunately are affecting, sensitive people like me and nicholas perhaps.
I don't show my emotions easily, I guess everyone could tell.
To everyone, I guess I always have this " same face ". And I'm just an ordinary guy and I should just mind my business and leave this guy alone.
How I wish there is someone who can read me like an open book even though I hide my emotions.
I don't know if thats a good thing or not, but I'm just typing out what I feel.
Now, to my friend LIM HUI XIU:
I think I can sort of understand your post dated 25feb.
I might not be as experienced as you in this thing called "love", but here's something that I want to say.
I've been through what you went, and I've done what you're thinking.
I could say that I broke up with her because of the exact same reason that you typed out on your post.
When I wanted to break up, you gave me advice, and yeah, I was grateful for that. I can't give you advice on this, because I don't know whats, good for you, only you know. However, I remember someone once told me, during that period of time that,
" If you ever get past this period, the love you and your partner share will be stronger. "
You might think this is bullshit, or not, up to you.
Think about it and then decide on what to do.
Don't ask anyone for help, you already know the answer.
This isn't help, this is more or less, a comment.
I know its a freaking tough time, I've chosen to give up, what about you?
I know you shouldn't follow my footsteps, because I'm envious about loving couples, whenever I see them on the streets or my friends, I envy them.
But as much as I say that, I do like being alone, sometimes, but not all the time as you can see from the FIRST part of my post.
Anyway, the solution is already there, trust me.
Just use your brain and think a little, you'll get it. Don't use your butt.
And I don't mean there, I mean here, your heart.
8:36 AM
